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Admiring 11/2/2015
After sex, a newly wed wife kept fondling her husband's
cock. Husband : Why? Want to have sex again? Wife : No dear, I just admiring your cock, I used to have one
before!
1 Comments, 7 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Still a Virgin 11/2/2015
Newly Wed girl tells her mom that her husband is still a virgin
Mom : How do you know dear? Girl: Last night, when we made love, his cock was still in
plastic cover..
0 Comments, 22 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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genius!!! 10/31/2015
A young Arkie goes off to college. Half way through the semester,
having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend,
he calls home.
"Dad, " he says, "You won't believe
what modern education is developing! They actually have
a program here at Hendrix that will teach our dog, Ole'
Blue how to talk!"
"That's amazing, " his Dad says. "How
do I get Ole' Blue in that ...
1 Comments, 100 Views,
14 Votes
,6.34 Score
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Witches & brooms 10/31/2015
Why don't witches wear panty hose? They will slide off the broom if they do.
0 Comments, 12 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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What? 10/29/2015
What is the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker
and a with diarrhea?
The oyster shucks between fits!
0 Comments, 6 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Peanut buttter/ Jackass 10/26/2015
What do you get when you cross a peanut butter sandwhich
with a jackass? A piece of ass that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
0 Comments, 6 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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Life expectancy 10/25/2015
A woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While on the operating table she had a near death experience.
Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 33 years, 2 months
and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital
and have a face-lift, liposuction, some implants and a
tummy tuck. She ...
2 Comments, 128 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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are you a lesbian too? 10/22/2015
A cowboy walks into a bar and sits down and orders a beer.
A few minutes later a beautiful blond walks in and sits down
next to him. She looks him over and says are you a real Cowboy
? To which he responds, why yes I am. I ride horses, break
wild horses, rope cattle, wrestle steers, I do it all. Yes
I'm a real cowboy. He smile and pleased with himself,
asks her what she is ? To which she ...
3 Comments, 119 Views,
13 Votes
,4.15 Score
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A RIDE IN THE TAXI 10/21/2015
A woman and her twelve-year-old were riding in a taxi.
It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under
awnings.
"Mom, " said the boy, "what are all those
women doing?" "They're waiting for their husbands to get off
work, " she replied.
The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady,
why don't you tell him the Truth? They're hookers,
boy! They have sex ...
2 Comments, 169 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score
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Off the Rails 10/21/2015
Dave a longtime railway signal man from California decides
to apply for a senior job advertised in neighbouring Nevada.Having
received his invitation to travel to Reno for the interview
he arrives to find the usual rivalvry between the two States
is very much ongoing and as he waits alongside the two other
applicants for the job he realises he is up against it as
both of the others are native to ...
0 Comments, 89 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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The Biology Exam 10/20/2015
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their
mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven
advantages of Mother's Milk. The question was worth
70 points or none at all. One student, was hard put to think of seven advantages.
He wrote: 1) It is perfect formula for the . 2) It provides immunity against several diseases. 3) It is always the right temperature. 4) It is inexpensive. 5) ...
1 Comments, 129 Views,
8 Votes
,5.10 Score
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Keep Truckin 10/20/2015
a sad looking woman drives her truck into the front car park
of a seedy roadhouse in Alabama. Parking up she saunters
inside to order her lunch and instantly catches the raucous
attention of a gang of bikers. Minding her own business
she settles down in a corner of the joint and starts to eat
her food but the gang members sidle over and start to goad
her; firstly one picks her burger up and ...
2 Comments, 131 Views,
8 Votes
,4.64 Score
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At the Old Folks Home 10/19/2015
80 yr. old woman complains of malaise and general indifference.
The young Doctor prescribes massive hormone treatments.
Three nights later the old gal is running down the hallway,
with nothing on but her robe. She runs into the 1st men's
room, a 90 yr. old, and whips open her robe and sez; 'Sup-er
SEX!' The old dude drools & rolls over. She runs
into an 80 guy's room: opens robe 'Supp...er ...
1 Comments, 22 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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At the Old Folks Home 10/19/2015
80 yr. old woman complains of malaise and general indifference.
The young Doctor prescribes massive hormone treatments.
Three nights later the old gal is running down the hallway,
with nothing on but her robe. She runs into the 1st men's
room, a 90 yr. old, and whips open her robe and sez; 'Sup-er
SEX!' The old dude drools & rolls over. She runs
into an 80 guy's room: opens robe 'Supp...er ...
2 Comments, 72 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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Silver Lining 2 10/19/2015
Lynda turns to Lucy and sez: 'Oh TY so very much! Pay
back really is a freaken bitch!'
1 Comments, 36 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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Devoted Service 10/19/2015
Two women get together at the bar, and they spend the night
drinking and having a good time. On their way home early
in the morning, they begin to pass a cemetary and the one
woman says to the other who is driving, "pull over,
I have to use the bathroom!" They both enter the cemetary,
grab a headstone and do their business, when one says to
the other, "I don't have anything to wipe with!"
The ...
4 Comments, 81 Views,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score
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BIRTH CONTROL FOR GRANDMA 10/17/2015
The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for
most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup,
the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines
that had been prescribed for her.
As the doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide
as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control
pills.
"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH ...
2 Comments, 170 Views,
11 Votes
,5.04 Score
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smart ass!!! 10/17/2015
My small grandson wandered off from me at a shopping mall.
A uniformed security guard approached him and asked if
he was lost? He told the guard he had lost his grand dad. The security guard asked him, "What's he Like?"
The small tyke replied, "Royal Crown Bourbon and
big breasted women!"
3 Comments, 50 Views,
6 Votes
,5.93 Score
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take note guys!!! 10/17/2015
FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, $200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
3 Comments, 34 Views,
10 Votes
,5.38 Score
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An Impatient Man 10/16/2015
A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the
gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby.
The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come
on sweetie, eat it all up or I'll have to give it to this
nice man next to us."
Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she
said, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it
to this nice man here."
...
2 Comments, 138 Views,
10 Votes
,6.37 Score
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All Aboard 10/15/2015
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen
listening to her young playing with his new electric
train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her
said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off,
get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all
of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses
in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."
The ...
5 Comments, 88 Views,
10 Votes
,5.38 Score
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knockedy knock knock 10/15/2015
Knock knock!
Whos There?
Khan! Khan
who?
Khan-dom broke, hope you're on the pill!
1 Comments, 17 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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knock knock again 10/15/2015
Knock Knock
Who's There?
Ben Hur
Ben Hur who?
Ben Hur over and give it to her doggy style!
1 Comments, 6 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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knock knock 10/15/2015
Knock, Knock!
Who's There?
Dewey!
Dewey who?
Dewey have to use a condom?
1 Comments, 9 Views,
0 Votes
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Captain Fearless 10/14/2015
A captain of his ship was sailing the seas one afternoon,
when suddenly over the horizon a pirate ship was seen. The
captain yells "Everyone prepare for battle, and
hand me my red jacket." To which one of the crew members
complied and handed him his jacket which he put on. The battle
ended victoriously for the ship and his captain and they
continued on in their voyage. Later, they again spotted ...
2 Comments, 91 Views,
8 Votes
,3.71 Score
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The Visit to the Doctor 10/11/2015
I went to see a new urologist the other day. Turned out to be a woman and Oh Man was she hot. Any way, I explained the issues I was having and she patiently
sat and listened, and when I finished talking she sat there
quietly for a little while then said "I think you need
to quit masturbating. I asked her why and she said "Well I need to examine
you now".
0 Comments, 86 Views,
11 Votes
,4.66 Score
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George and the dragon!!! 10/11/2015
An 18th-century vagabond in England, exhausted and famished,
came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: "George and the
Dragon." He knocked.
The Innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could
ye spare some victuals?" He asked.
The woman glanced at his shabby, dirty clothes. "No!"
she shouted.
"Could I have a pint of ale?"
"No!" she shouted. ...
1 Comments, 66 Views,
8 Votes
,5.33 Score
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MCGREGGOR 10/7/2015
THERE IS A GUY MCGEGGOR IRISH MAN THAT SITS AT A BAR AND SAYS
TO THE GUY BESIDE HIM...I AM PIST CAUSE U SEE THAT DOCK I MADE
THAT WITH ME OWN 2 HANDS AND U SEE THIA BAR I MADE THIS WITH
ME OWN 2 HANDS BUT DO THEY CALL ME MCGREGGOR THE DOCK OR BAR
MAKER HELL NO HOWEVER U FUCK ONE SHEEP AND IM MCGREGGOR THE
SHEEP FUCKER FOR LIFE!!! BY AMY 
1 Comments, 37 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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lifes lesson 10/7/2015
A woman and her eight-year old were walking along a country road when they saw
a stallion mounting a mare. "Mommy, " the little
girl asked, "what are those horses doing?"
The mother stuttered a moment before she could come up with
a creative answer. "The on top hurt his hoof,
and the one underneath is helping him back to the barn."
The little girl shook her head and said, "That's
the same way ...
3 Comments, 136 Views,
13 Votes
,6.00 Score
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lets go fishing!! 10/7/2015
Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following
conversation took place: First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able
to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife
that I will paint every room in the house next weekend."
Second guy: "That's nothing; I had to promise
my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool."
Third guy: "Man, you both have it ...
4 Comments, 126 Views,
14 Votes
,6.98 Score
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