|
Dumb jokes 12/22/2014
Did you know an elephant's sexual organ is in his feet?
If he steps on you you're fucked.
What's gray and comes in quarts(liters)?
Elephants.
...
1 Comments, 47 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
|
|
Are you good at this game? 12/21/2014
Two guy where siting at home bored as hell. The 1st guy said
"I know lets play a game." the 2ed guy said "ok,
but what game will we play?". So the 1st guy says "I
know, I will find stuff around the house and put it up your
ass and you have to guess what it is." "that sounds
like fun, lets do it" said the 2ed guy. So the 1st guy
go's and finds a ruler and sticks it up the others ass.
The 2ed guy ...
0 Comments, 118 Views,
6 Votes
,2.51 Score
|
|
Pickle slicer? 12/21/2014
Once I use to work in a pickle factory until I was fire. I got
caught sticking my dick in the pickle slicer. But that ok
because she was fired to.
0 Comments, 29 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
|
|
Lippy 12/20/2014
why do women have two sets of lips. So they can pisses and
moan.
1 Comments, 19 Views,
6 Votes
,0.52 Score
|
|
true story 12/18/2014
a co worker of ours went to a bar(overseas trip) to meet with
a female companion. she called and cancel after he had a
few drinks. he was tipsy and decide to walk to the hotel a
few blocks away. he was solicited for sex and decided to
accept the offer. the was somewhat attractive and he just wanted a
blow job. she started to do her thing and he was into he decide
to reach down and rub her ...
1 Comments, 190 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
|
|
bar joke 12/18/2014
a man went to the bar with his wife. when he left for the counter
to buy drinks a approached his wife and whispered,
" You must Demand cash before sex, I know him he does
not pay.
1 Comments, 112 Views,
8 Votes
,4.41 Score
|
|
Legless 12/18/2014
A snail went into a bar for a Christmas drink, he went up to
the barman & said "can I have half of lager &
a packet of crisps please". The barman just looked
at the snail & shouted "get out" & threw
the snail out. A year later the snail came back in & went up to the same
barman & shouted " what did you do that for"!!
2 Comments, 96 Views,
6 Votes
,2.51 Score
|
|
3 nuns joke :) 12/18/2014
Three nuns are in a car accident and then find themselves
in front of Saint Peter at the Gates of Heaven. "Welcome,
sisters. Before I grant you entry, I must ask you if you kept
your vows, including your vow of celibacy." The first
sister approaches Peter and says, "I'm sorry,
but I must admit that I once gave the Priest a handjob."
Saint Peter replies, "Do not worry, sister. Here
in Heaven all ...
0 Comments, 118 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
|
|
Screaming wife :p 12/18/2014
3 friends bet each other $100 who could make their wife scream
more from sex. The next day the first one said "I made
love to my wife for 2 hours and she screamed for at least an
hour and a half!" The next said he licked his wife for
2 hours and she screamed the whole time plus a half hour after
that! The 3rd one said "that's nothing. I made
love to my wife for ten minutes, I came a couple times, ...
2 Comments, 124 Views,
10 Votes
,3.78 Score
|
|
condoms 12/18/2014
Did you know that condoms have serial numbers? ? ? NO. Maybe
because you didn't role it down far enough. LOL
0 Comments, 14 Views,
1 Votes
|
|
Dinner talk 12/18/2014
A family is at the dinner table. The asks the father,
“Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father,
surprised, answers, “Well, , a woman goes through
three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons,
round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still
nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.”
“Onions?” the asks. “Yes. You see them and ...
0 Comments, 58 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
|
|
Error 12/17/2014
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for
their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis, "
and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the
screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
2 Comments, 24 Views,
4 Votes
,0.53 Score
|
|
weather or?? 12/15/2014
Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!
0 Comments, 23 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
|
|
from the mouth of boys 12/15/2014
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his
mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her
and quickly dismounts, worried about what her has
seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The sees
his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"
The mother replies, "Well you know your dad has a big
tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten
it." ...
0 Comments, 100 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
|
|
Say it aim't so 12/15/2014
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for
their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis, "
and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the
screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
0 Comments, 29 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
|
|
Overtime 12/15/2014
A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will
make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by
the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought
for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for
$2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even
have enough time to undressed himself." So she ...
0 Comments, 85 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
|
|
Bowlegged? 12/14/2014
Why do cowgirls walk bowlegged? Couse cowboys do not know
that they should take off there hats when they eat.
0 Comments, 23 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
|
|
How to stop Jehovah Witnesses from nocking at your door 12/14/2014
I used to have Jehovah Witnesses nock on my door every Sunday
until one Sunday I was out haunting rabbits. After I was
dune haunting I went home and started to clean them when
all of a sudden I herd a nock at the door. I peeked through
the window and saw them at my door again. So I grabbed 2 of
the rabbits by there back legs and held them behind my back
as I answered the door. They asked me if I ...
0 Comments, 130 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
|
|
Tuff but silent 12/14/2014
The cowboys were sitting around a campfire bragging about
how tuff they where. The 1st one was talking about how he
took on a pack of wolves by him self. The 2ed one talked about
how he was attacked be a rattlesnake and that he pick it up
and bit it's head off. The 3ed one just sat quietly stirring
the campfire with his dick.
0 Comments, 73 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
|
|
Carefull what you wish for. 12/14/2014
A cowboy was out for a ride and his was spooked by a snake.
The cowboy was just about to shot the snake till the snake
said plz don't shot me, I am a magical snake and I can
grant you 3 wishes. So the cowboy though to his self, it must
be true because it can speak. So the cowboy wished for a big
mansion, $100, 000, 000, and to be hung like his .
When him got back to his ranch he found a big ...
0 Comments, 118 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
|
|
Mole 12/11/2014
A bloke goes into the doctors, Doctor says " what seems to be the problem? "
Man says " I need a mole removing off my dick.............it's
the last time I have sex with one of them."
4 Comments, 75 Views,
6 Votes
,0.52 Score
|
|
A golfing mechanic 12/9/2014
An auto mechanic went out on Saturday morning to play golf.
He told his wife he would be home about two o’clock.
He finally arrived home at seven. His wife asked where he’d
been and he said, “It’s like this. I was on my way home
and saw a customer of mine stuck on the side of the road. I
stopped to help her. I got her car started but got very dirty
in the process. She ...
4 Comments, 264 Views,
11 Votes
,4.10 Score
|
|
It's Christmas Time 12/6/2014
Some jokes to make your spirits bright!
What do they call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses
Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners
the most? "Rude"olph
What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding
down a chimney? Santa Claus-trophbia
What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish
What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of ...
1 Comments, 74 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
|
|
jokes 11/30/2014
We played with a couple that were nudists and they were very
quick to get naked and seemed very comfortable being naked
but them sure were not comfortable having sex. When we asked
if there was anything wrong they said no. They also said
that being nudist had nothing to do with sex it was more an
expression of being free. How can being naked not have anything
to do with sex?
2 Comments, 108 Views,
9 Votes
|
|
Kissing 11/30/2014
Why do so many couples have rules against kissing? We think
it's the best part of having sex with another partner.
5 Comments, 61 Views,
8 Votes
,0.23 Score
|
|
Truck driver and the Blonde 11/25/2014
As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde catches up. She
jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the
door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi,
my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches
up again. She jumps out of her car, runs ...
3 Comments, 294 Views,
18 Votes
,5.03 Score
|
|
Pics 11/23/2014
Would you let someone take pics of you having sex with their
spouse when you swing?
6 Comments, 101 Views,
6 Votes
,0.23 Score
|
|
Indian Chief 11/23/2014
Chief went into a drugstore and said to the pharmacist ...Chief need-um rubber to make-um love to squaws. The pharmacist chuckled picked out an Acme thin condom,
handed it to the Indian and said here ya go chief this should
do the trick. Its nice and thin to give pleasure to your squaws.
The next day here come the Indian with a used rubber in hand.
He tossed it on the counter and said .. ...
1 Comments, 191 Views,
8 Votes
,2.09 Score
|
|
Table Dancing 11/21/2014
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on
a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so."
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed
by now."
0 Comments, 118 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
|
|
Pool Peeing 11/21/2014
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The
lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
0 Comments, 108 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
|
