Another Bonk Holiday rolls around!
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Posted:Apr 2, 2010 5:07 pm
Last Updated:Apr 18, 2010 6:54 am
8330 Views
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So here I am, 5 days off work for Easter. I've been working like a for the last few weeks, so it's a good chance to chill out.
The saddest thing is though, I'm all alone with all this time on my hands and no one to play with!
Sometimes holiday time sucks! 
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March 2010
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Posted:Mar 12, 2010 3:01 am
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2011 2:03 pm
7254 Views
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So, we are in the 3rd month of 2010 already. How fast the days go!
Do you ever get to a stage in your life where you feel now is the time to take stock?
I have been weighing up a few things in the last few days and come to some conclusions. I am going to set myself some goals for 2010.
These include:
1. Seeing if it's viable to move home. I can't relax here whilst I have the 'drop kicks' living downstairs from me. I want my own front door, a house, a small outside space to sit in when it's warm enough. Serious review of all things financial required.
2. When the accommodation move at work is complete, I will review my job. It may be time to move on. That will ease some of the pressure I feel and if I can move up a grade, the extra cash will help with the house move plan.
3. I am going to stick to my principles about finding a regular lover. I'm sick of fleeting things and whilst I don't want someone here 24/7, I know I deserve someone to treat me good! I'm sick of guys messaging me and saying things like "I'm in London for the night, come fuck me". I don't know you! I'm not a !
I truly believe once you have finally sorted out your thoughts and committed them to print (like here), a kind of clarity appears and all the fog of confusion you may have felt lately will start to lift.
So.........I have decided that 2010 is going to be a great year for me! If I can get at least 2/3 of the above, it will be!! (Think number 3 will still be the hardest to achieve! )
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Life in January 2010 and how hard it can be.
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Posted:Feb 19, 2010 5:56 am
Last Updated:Feb 28, 2010 9:00 am
6670 Views
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Today I have been sat pondering my life.
I thought I would do a quarterly report, but looking back to my last one it should have been in December, so that's slipped past! I will count this in its place.
I know I am ultimately in charge of my own destiny and I have always shouldered the burdens in my life solo. But life in 2010 is starting to drag me down a bit.
I came to this site in the hopes of finding a regular partner, open and honest about sexual desire.......... rather than having someone 24/7. Results have been mixed, but mostly fleeting.
I know I can be a tad selfish. Most people who have lived alone for a long time get that way. I also don't want to moan.... it's not an attractive trait! But I have to say I'm starting to think there are few men who can show an independent, intelligent woman the respect she deserves.
I love sex, that I don't deny that, but in isolation it really just scratches a temporary itch. Why can't it also include kissing and cuddling over a bottle of decent wine and putting the world to rights through a decent conversation? .... and on a regular basis?
My job is particularly stressful. I work in a very macho, male orientated environment. Normally I can cope, but a project I am working on at the moment has left me feeling patronised, humiliated and even a tad bullied by colleagues. That I can stand up for myself I don't doubt, but when you are outnumbered, it does start to wear you down!
Then there's where I live. I have the most ignorant neighbours downstairs. The total lack of consideration shown to myself and the neighbours upstairs beggars belief! I am sure these folks downstairs don't work, that the flat is totally financed by the local authority & there is a possibility they are actually dealing drugs out of the premises. The constant too-ing and fro-ing and door slamming is just not normal behaviour, but indicative of a chaotic lifestyle. I open my front door most evenings after to work & think I'm living in "pot" den!
This is MY home, my haven. I work hard to pay my mortgage. How dare they think it is acceptable to behave the way they do! Is it normal to argue on your mobile phone at midnight on a Tuesday night, to the point I am woken up by it? To have to knock on the door and politely ask them to pipe down took all of my courage, in the face of intimidation.
I don't "do" Winter very well either. I look forward to Spring and the improvement in the weather. The freedom the lighter nights seem to afford.
Sometimes to quote the lyrics from a song "...it's just too much, taking on the whole world all by yourself". Strength to do even the simplest of domestic tasks is lacking.
These feelings will pass, I know. I also know I'm strong enough to get through this. I'm just feeling every single one of my 51 years right now! ..... and it's far from the sexually attractive woman I should be!
To all the guys who have emailed me and thought me ignorant for not replying .... I guess I just don't have the energy to get to know someone from scratch at the moment.... and believe me it does take effort!
The next 5 weeks will be frantic at work, until the project is completed. Maybe then I can invest some time in my personal
life it so needs and deserves.
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I'm a bit p*ssed off!
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Posted:Oct 10, 2009 6:41 am
Last Updated:Feb 10, 2011 2:05 pm
7838 Views
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I shouldn't really be writing this while I'm this angry, but I feel the need to vent!
I know what this site is all about and I'm hardly husband hunting, but I'm a bit fed up of guy's who think I'm just here for their amusement.
I met a guy a few weeks ago for lunch and we had a really good meet. Then nothing.............
This week he get back in touch, out of the blue, saying he's sorry he hasn't been in touch, pressure of work etc. He asks to meet me this weekend.
Last night, he cancelled. It happens all the time and it's really pissing me off!
He messages me today, full of how he'd rather be with me than be at work! Then the penny finally finally dropped. So I asked him straight .... are you married or have a girlfriend?
And yes......... he has a girlfriend.
I make it quite clear in my profile that I don't want to meet men who are already involved. I'm not prepared to play second fiddle and make up for whatever is lacking in their current relationship.
He would quite happily have met me again and again and admitted he would be quite happy to do that. He's been with his girlfriend for 4 years, but they don't have a great sex life. Am I supposed to make up for that? I bet she'd be devastated if he knew he was looking elsewhere.
I know this is a sex site, but I get enough interest from unattached men, so why would I want to get involved with him? I'm also a person in my own right and deserve some respect!
His final words.... "... so I suppose that means you don't want to meet me then?". ... and logged off.
Fekkin cheek of it all.
I have my pride (too much maybe) but I know what I'm worth!!!! I'm committment free, so any potential partners should be too!
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September 2009 - Quarterly report
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Posted:Sep 23, 2009 12:21 pm
Last Updated:Apr 25, 2010 3:59 am
6637 Views
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I know I've left it a bit late, so better get something down in print before the month ends!
Another 3 months have flown past and Summer 2009 is all but over. I have to say that while Autumn is a pretty season and the weather is holding up, I never look forward to the Winter months.
So, how was Summer 2009? Decidedly average, I guess. Not much inspiration in terms of meets, although September has definitely been the best month of the bunch.
I lost alot of interest in meeting new people throughout the Summer and it's taken me a while to get back on track. I have to say the standard of messages I have received has gone up (but that didn't take much!).
I think I am finally turning the corner with my gammy ankle and some Physiotherapy has helped. I'm still not 100% confident on my pins, but so much better than I was. If you'd have told me 2 years ago that it would still be impacting on me, I wouldn't have believed you!
My next goal? To lose some weight I think. Difficult when you can't exercise very well with a dodgy ankle. The kind of exercise I prefer would involve regular meetings with a sexy man! hahahahaha! I know I would feel better for shedding a few pounds.
One thing I do know is, thank heaven's for Pandora's Box! I love being part of this Group and am really looking forward to the October meet. It's purely social, but we always have a really good laugh!
Then there's the possibility of a holiday to Cyprus to look forward to in April 2010....
.... so, head up, tits out, as they say! It will be interesting to see how October to December 2009 pan out!
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Quarterly report - June 2009
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Posted:May 31, 2009 11:00 am
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2011 2:22 am
7021 Views
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Well June soon rolled around didn't it?? Can't believe how quickly the last 3 months have gone by! I'm loving the lighter nights and the better weather, even if it does make the sap rise!
I'm still working my socks off, so it's really a case of all work and not much play! It doesn't mean that the "horn" doesn't overtake me from time to time. I'm only human!
I still search for the elusive regular partner. I know I'm fussy, but I don't see the point in not being!
I think it's more about quality than quantity. It takes time and effort to weed the "corn from the chaff" and this site has more than it's fair share of "chaff"!!
It's so easy to misrepresent yourself online and being that I can only ever be 100% straight about myself, I find this the most frustrating aspect of all.
I know I'm not everyone's "cup of tea". I'm nearly 51, intelligent, gregarious, damn talkative and maybe that's a tad overwhelming for some guys.
However, I have no intention of having a personality transplant!
All I would say is to the few of you that have taken the time to get to know me.... thank you! There are a small handful of guys on here that I still speak to, from time to time, as friends, if nothing else! I thank you too! For seeing past whatever it is that other guys don't seem able to cope with!
I shall be back with my quarterly report in September!
.... the search continues!
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Another bonk holiday rolls around!
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Posted:May 3, 2009 6:36 am
Last Updated:Mar 12, 2010 3:05 am
6773 Views
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So, here we are.... another bonk holiday rolls around and I find myself will all this free time on my hands and no on to share it with.
Does everyone else on this site have such a full life that they don't crave some company at one of the times of the year when they aren't working?
Seems a bit of a wicked waste to me.
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Spring has definitely sprung!
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Posted:Apr 3, 2009 9:17 am
Last Updated:May 10, 2009 2:41 pm
6064 Views
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Oh yes indeedy. The clocks have altered, the temperature has risen a little and the horn has set in! 
I have been talking to guys I know, some from here and some I've known a while from other sites and they are frisky as hell!
All of a sudden interest is back!
I have to say it's not just the guys though, the horn has got me bad too!
Now if only we can both juggle our schedules, could be some exciting times ahead! 
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Ponderings on life, love and March 2009
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Posted:Mar 7, 2009 5:44 am
Last Updated:Sep 12, 2009 2:20 pm
5208 Views
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So, we are now into the 3rd month of 2009 and I thought I would take stock.
I'm slowly crawling out of the hibernation I enter during the short days and dark nights of Winter. The weather is getting more spring like and, like nature, I start to come to life again. The sap is rising! The evenings are drawing out and I can generally get to and from work in daylight hours.
Work is as busy as ever and the organisation I work for is undergoing some fundamental changes. I find this quite exciting, even if many of my collaegues seem to be disgruntled and fearful. Although I enjoy my work, I have actually applied for a post on promotion in my Unit, derived from this change of direction. I really haven't felt like stretching myself like this for some time, so I view this as a positive development.
On the personal life front, things need to change! Whilst I love certain aspects of this site and the meets I have had have generally been fine, I have noticed a disturbing trend of late. The sort of mail I am getting does not inspire me one little bit.
I really don't want a quick fuck or to meet someone passing through London in their hotel room. I want to find a like minded individual, so we can meet on a regular basis, without living in each other's pockets.
I have rewritten my profile and visit it often, wondering if there is something in it that attracts the type of mail I get. I have to admit I'm at a loss to know what to do!
I've been in London for over 4 years now, but still don't have a broad network of friends, like I had in my old home town. I wouldn't go back there though, as it was far too narrow minded and restrictive for me.
At the end of the day. I know my own worth and I'm not willing to compromise my standards for anyone. I'm an intelligent, bubbly woman. Not drop dead gorgeous, but not the back end of a bus either! I'm 50 and proud of it. I don't look 20, but I don't look old either. Yes, I could do with losing a few pounds, but who couldn't? That I am great company, sexy and a great sexual partner, I have absolutely no doubt. I just need to find someone who appreciates all that.
Until I do, in a glass half full fashion, I shall carry on in my search. Maybe I'll review this again in June, kinda like a quarterly report!
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Ever felt ugly?
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Posted:Feb 11, 2009 3:02 pm
Last Updated:Aug 1, 2009 6:28 am
4886 Views
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I feel ugly today! I have a big spot on my face!
I don't like it! 
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Every cloud has a silver lining!
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Posted:Feb 2, 2009 1:25 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2009 8:25 am
4767 Views
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There was me not looking forward to going out in the snow today, with my dodgy ankle, when low and behold a miracle happened. All London Transport was suspended!
No buses, no trains .... I have to stay at home! How sad .... NOT!
Apparently this is the biggest snowfall since 1991. As pretty as everything looks, I for one am glad I can stay tucked up safely at home today!
... just a pity I'm all alone!
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