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The acid test....
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The acid test.... If you've been online for any length of time you'll be aware how much of the information online is flawed, mistaken, misunderstood or just plain wrong. This varies from people who earnestly believe the BS they're peddling either because their mistaken or because of their agenda (why yes, there is an election on here at the moment, why do you ask?)  to those who simply are simply trying it on.The ones I want to talk about are a subset of the mistaken ones, the ones who have only a poor grasp of math or statistics or who earnestly follow a flawed train of logic to a foolish outcome. What brought this on? Well truth is I stumbled across another link to "The acid test for Doms". I've seen it before, you may have too. Google "Acid Test" right now and have a read if you like. Its presented as 'good advice' for submissives who are seeking dominants and specifically submissive women. Its certainly has the air of something that believes itself to be offering deep truths. My problem is, it starts off with some very flawed logic and that kind of colors the rest of the discussion, for me at least. So what does it say? Here's an extract:
Some of you will see the problem immediately and some won't. Statistically its called a "selection bias", which means that the group you're looking at is in some way a skewed sample. Most often people who've selected themselves rather than being chosen at random (which you have to do to make your small sample in any way approximate a larger population). Here's one I've made up which makes it easier to see the problem:
See the problem? We know the 50:50 (roughly) number at the start is more or less correct, its basic genetics. In fact, allow me to suggest that the 10:1 ratio of men to women on HotMatch.com is pretty much the status quo too. This is because men are disproportionately over-represented in the population of people online and also because women, especially attractive women may not need to come to HotMatch.com to get all the adult fun they want already, without the need to fill in profiles and sell themselves in 100-10000 words. All that means is that the people on the net aren't a representative cross section of society and the people on HotMatch.com even less so. That makes most of the logic that follows in the Acid test discussion a little moot. You'll note that there they're reporting an even higher ratio and guess what, if you work the stats its about the right number. But the acid test sees it as a sign of fakery and insincerity, self-delusion or outright fraud and decides to advise you walk away from the 95% you decide are the not real ones. So the acid test moves on. Know your enemy it says. You know. Them. The geeks and the nutters and sex fiends. Errr... bad news guys. If you're on the net, you are by definition geekier than someone who's not. I for example appear to be writing a blog entry for fucks sake! All that's left is a question of degree. Its like the old saw about would you sell yourself to a stranger for a night for $10? How about $10million? So now we're just haggling on price right? In the same way you are a geek. You may not be debating Kirk vs. Picard or have a Dr Sheldon Cooper pinup poster but it is all just a matter of degree. You're using a web site to try and meet people for heavens sake. The non-geeks are down at the pub pouring enough beer into themselves to make their local "single for a reason" opposite numbers look appealing. If you don't like the label, you are free to join them. Similarly, the sex obsessed. Kind of goes with the territory on a place like HotMatch.com. Hell it may even be why we came here originally or perhaps why some return every day. These may be the actual people you're looking for. Or could easily become the people you're looking for. Chemistry changes people folks. Its how confirmed singles become partners and why people marry. More amusingly to me was the Acid test's prose about control freaks. Here we have a document written to assist subs looking for 'real' doms that then branches off into a discussion on how to identify and step away from... well people with a dominant personality. Too funny for words. Which is not to say I'd want to have my life micro-managed by an arsehole with no sense of balance, nor would I want to be that arsehole, but there are some (I've met them) who crave that (and its not me). Finally, this section of the acid test ends with a warning on and predators. Good advice at last, and sadly not advice that needs to be limited to the BDSM community or even HotMatch.com or the dating community. These people are out there and you have to be vigilant. The good news is they can't reach through your screen to get you and engaging in conversation is often a fairly effective way to weed them out. And while you're conversing, don't give too much away upfront. Don't use MS messenger or Yahoo with your real name as an ID. Don't trade telephone numbers till the requisite warm and fuzzy feelings are in place. Don't be pressured to meet till you feel safe. Meet in an open public place. Repeat the getting to know you stuff face to face where you can now check body language and tone. If you go to his place, make sure someone you trust knows the address. You may even arrange to have them call you after you've been a while and if you say some agreed upon 'innocuous phrase' they can send the police. If you are playing in the BDSM world, make sure you have a safe-word and if he or she doesn't honor it get the hell out. These are all basic things you should do to watch out for yourself. The last few may not be necessary in vanilla dating. Let face it if you do the 2-5 dates before sex thing, you're less likely to find yourself tied to the bed (unless you wanted to be of course...). The last (real) section of the Acid test is the "Know what you want" section. Its nice advice and sadly more likely to be honored in the breach than the observance. Few people, in my experience have any real idea of what they want. Sometimes it literally manifests as someone saying they have no type or they don't know their type and other times its more a matter of self delusion. We've all met that person who just wanted something casual who announces soon after meeting that they really like you and would like to have a more serious relationship. Its happened to me at the end of the first date once. (Yes you're right, I should have run screaming... being too polite can kill you!) Or the girl who describes the nice guy in the polo shirt as her ideal and then dates the tattooed horror with no shirt, open leather jacket and ponytail. Knowing what you want, being able articulate it honestly, being able to look past the skin deep and see if the person you're talking to matches the ideal are all good ideas in principle. We should strive for that ideal. Don't beat yourself up if you fail though. That too is part of being human. That's kind of where I lost interest in the Acid test. It goes on with a bunch of little tests, lets call them testlets. It instructs you to memorize all this. Might be useful if it weren't so flawed. And the best advice remains to use your common sense. We're none of us love-sick teens here and that means we've some idea of how to find what we want, how to weed out the non-starters but still keep an open mind to new friends, new opportunities and new adventures. Oh and if you are a tall girl interested in a mild dominant male, do drop me a line! A man can't live by blog alone afer all!
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There is a small postscript to add here by the way. And its one that might give a small amount of pleasure/schadenfreude to those of us who see the alleged actions of those using this and other similar sites for psych research. (Sydney Uni seems to get named a lot... no idea if its true or not.) Given the manifest issues with the sample set here (i.e. us and how we got here) there is unlikely to be any conclusion of value that can be drawn from studying the profiles. In fact some of the fakers may be skewing the data even more along the way to trying strip mine people's wallets for cash. And if the institutions are here, no doubt some of the fake profiles belong to them. All in all you have to wonder what sorts of papers are being written from data collected here. No doubt they're full of slim DD cup women who meet repeatedly with 12" white boys. All in all, its a little bit of karmic balancing for people who clearly didn't get a passing mark in the ethics portion of their course.
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